Online Family Therapy: How It Works and the Best Options
According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, nearly 90% of people experience improvement in their emotional health as a result of family therapy sessions. Another two-thirds report improvement in overall physical health.
While various mental health professionals may offer online family therapy, those who are specifically trained in family systems theory are likely to be the most helpful.
In this article, I’ll discuss some basics of virtual family therapy, including how to find a family therapist online, common goals for family therapy, and what could make family therapy most effective for you.
How Family Therapy Works
Family therapy usually begins in one of two ways: a recommendation from an individual therapist or a decision made by a family member.
Individual therapists are often keen to address relationship problems their clients are experiencing if the additional support is needed. In this case, your therapist may encourage you to consider family therapy as an adjunctive or replacement to individual therapy if the presenting issues would be more effectively supported in relation to the people you’re talking about.
You or another family member may also decide you could benefit from family therapy sessions. Family members interested in participating in therapy usually search for a family therapist online or ask friends or other healthcare providers for a referral.
Before you start family therapy, you'll have an initial consultation. During this, the therapist usually obtains a brief description of what each member is looking for, answers questions the family may have, and suggests scheduling a first session – if it feels like a good fit.
Typically and ideally, all participating family members are present for the first session. This gives the therapist equal opportunity to meet with each member and learn their unique perspective of how they experience “the problem(s).” Beyond that, the family therapist may decide to meet with families individually and in certain combinations, depending on the strategy for meeting goals.
There is no limit to how many members can participate in family therapy online. The best online family therapy is accessible to individuals from the comfort of their own home(s) and with confirmation that the therapist is licensed to serve in the state each family member lives in.
Goals for Family Therapy
Family therapy goals are unique to each family. It is common for members of the same family to have different goals. So, the best family therapist accurately assesses what each member hopes to gain and co-creates a plan to help integrate everyone's goals.
For example, you might begin seeing a family therapist online as a result of a teenager’s individual therapist recommending that working with their parents might improve the teen’s overall functioning. The teen may want to feel more understood by their parents, whereas one or more parents may want the teen to do a better job taking care of their responsibilities. These would be considered different goals, but could all be achieved in the same family therapy experience.
Another example might be when adult children are concerned about a parent’s ailing health and want a family therapist to support the difficult conversations. The ailing parent may have a difficult time adjusting to additional resources and supports as they grow older. The adult children may be looking for ways of reducing some of their stress and worry. Family therapy sessions can bridge these gaps in communication and support each member and the family as a whole.
Here are some general goals you might work on in family therapy sessions:
Decreasing the amount of verbal or physical volatility during conflict
Developing new methods and approaches to communication
Identifying the difference between thoughts and feelings
Broadening the context of the conflict to decrease blame and increase responsibility
Allowing quieter members to confidently use their voice
Supporting more active members learning to create space for others
Understanding longstanding conflict from new perspectives
Establishing and maintaining empathy for self and other
Family therapy sessions can also be a surprisingly effective approach to treating issues that are typically thought of as individual problems. These include, but are not limited to:
Substance use disorders
Eating disorders
Depression
Anxiety
Obsessive-compulsive disorders
Conduct disorders
Chronic pain disorders
Is online family therapy effective?
Ample evidence shows that family therapy is effective, and online sessions make it more accessible.
Since the 1970s, research has consistently shown that family therapy is as effective, if not more effective, than individual therapy. Additional research shows that working with a family therapist online is equally effective as working in person.
One of the most profound reasons family therapy may be as productive, if not more, than individual therapy is because individual mental health issues are often connected, directly or indirectly, to the important relationships in a person’s life.
Family relationships can sometimes cause, maintain, or exacerbate the mental health symptoms of an individual. At the same time, it also may be true that an individual’s symptoms impact family members. These complex, sometimes complicated dynamics can be made simpler and easier to understand through family therapy sessions.
Those interested in family therapy may be curious–or even skeptical–about the idea of meeting online. A common myth is that it’s somehow less effective, and/or people doubt they will be able to communicate as effectively. In addition to what the research shows, my professional experience has achieved the same level of success through the transition online. As a therapist myself, I’ve noticed:
Clients seem as engaged, if not more
The intensity is equivalent or greater based on how close the individuals’ faces are to the screen the closeness of the screen to face
All parties still have the ability to see one another during the session
The privacy of one’s own home increases the sense of comfort and safety
Additional scheduling options with virtual family therapy give more flexibility to families
What is the best therapy for family therapy?
The best online family therapy is the one that all family members can agree to begin. There are different types of family therapy sessions, so it’s best to find the one that’s most suitable for your wants and needs.
Some mental health professionals focus on providing brief, short-term sessions to offer practical solutions to temporary problems. Others engage the family in a deeper, more dynamic approach to explore the past and present experience of the relationships. Some therapists do both, depending on what the family is looking for.
The most important part of choosing a therapist is making sure that they are both trained and experienced specifically in family therapy. While various mental health professionals may offer family therapy, not all are particularly specialized.
Finding a family therapist online can be a daunting task. Knowing where to look, what to ask, and who to hire can be practically and emotionally time-consuming. If you’re looking for a virtual family therapist, I’d be glad to teach you more about my approach to working with families, which you can read more about here.
How to Start Online Family Therapy
One of the most common ways to search for a family therapist online is through a therapist directory like Psychology Today or Good Therapy. You could also ask a current or former therapist if they have any recommendations.
In addition, primary care physicians, schools, and other supportive institutions in your community may have helpful recommendations.
Once you have a therapist’s name, I recommend going online and learning more about them based on what they share on their website. Each therapist usually has an About section where you can learn about their training, clinical experience, and the mission of their practice. You might also learn more about how they think about working with families, which may help you recognize what questions to ask.
From there, you can either call, email, and/or fill out the contact form on their website. Most mental health professionals will get back to you within a couple of business days. Some questions you can ask during a phone call include:
What is your current availability?
How frequently would we meet?
How long are the sessions?
What is the cost of your sessions/do you take our insurance?
What is it like to work with you?
What can I expect to experience in family therapy sessions?
Online Family Therapy: Conclusion
As you’ve learned in this article, online family therapy sessions can be as effective as in-person sessions, if not more.
One of the most important pieces of the puzzle is making sure that the therapist is licensed to serve in the State that each of your family members lives in. Another is making sure that the therapist is comfortable treating whatever issues you and your family are hoping to resolve.
The best online family therapy also happens when all participants agree to meet with that particular therapist. That said, make sure all members take a look at the profile or website of the therapist you’re considering. It might even be a good idea to make sure that all family members are included in all communications from the beginning so everyone starts off on an equal footing.
If you’d like to learn more about online family therapy with me, let’s schedule your free 15-minute consultation. I might be able to help if all of you are living in any one of these 40+ states.
